Isolation
by Koji Inari
Summary: Cloud is living in a world where getting close to someone might kill you. So how can he ever find a bridge into the light? CloudXRiku Yaoi Oneshot


-1**Prompt**: Loneliness

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all except cat, a computer, and a PS2.

**Rating**: M for some sexual themes, violence, and language.

**Warning**: Yaoi and Angst.

**Pairing**: CloudXRiku

**A/N: **Don't even think about yelling at me for Dirge or I'll cut your tongue out.

**Isolation**

There is an immeasurable sadness that infects those who are alone. Loneliness it's called, isolation. But those words aren't anywhere near powerful enough to explain the deep, scarring wounds that feeling inflicts upon the soul. One can never know how much it hurts, until he is thrust into it, into that hole of depression and suffering, with no one around to reach out a hand in help.

Cloud Strife was alone. He was a child born in a world that didn't want, and couldn't afford him. He, along with many others whom he would never meet, was born in a land without a god, and without a hope. Strength was counted in how long you survived, and not on your character. It was a hard world that Cloud Strife was born into, and it was a world he might never escape.

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"Hit him again! Harder!"

The lights reflecting off the neon signs overhead made the scene much more intense. The flickering of the hot red light added to the picture of blood and violence, shading everything in a streak of crimson. Cloud sucked in a sharp breath as he was kicked in the stomach once again, trying hard to hold back the bile and blood rising in his throat.

"He's stopped moving…" one of the attackers stated, kicking Cloud's motionless form once to be sure. "You think he's dead?"

"Damn, you hit him too hard. Let's get out of here," another growled.

"Calm down." A silver-haired man in his twenties moved forward from the group and grabbed Cloud by the hair, lifting his head up so he could see into the man's eyes. "How do you feel Cloud? Does it hurt?"

Cloud choked back his tears and tried his hardest to look the man in the face. He hoped he looked defiant, but he ended up only making a twisted expression with his mouth.

"I don't think you've had enough yet," the silver-haired man hissed.

"But Sephiroth…if we beat him any more he'll die…"

"Shut up!" Sephiroth snarled, turning to see who had questioned his authority. The sudden jerk of movement caused Cloud to yell out in pain, as Sephiroth still had a grip on his hair.

An answering yell came from a way's away, followed by the sound of pounding feet. Cloud could just dimly make out the sound

"Shit!" someone cried. "Let's get out of here!"

"Hold on!" Sephiroth commanded, but no one seemed to care. The group of people that had been punishing Cloud only a moment ago fled, leaving Sephiroth and Cloud alone.

"Damn you." Sephiroth hissed at the trembling man whose hair he still held. "I'll get you later." And with that, he was gone, running after the others.

Cloud's head was swimming when it hit the sidewalk, and his vision was failing. The colored lights of the signs above him twisted and distorted the little bit that he could see, making the area twirl and mesh until it all faded out into a deep black. Once again, he found himself alone.

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"Hey, wake up…"

The voice drifted across Cloud's plane of consciousness, moving sluggishly. He heard it, he knew it was a voice, but nothing more registered in his mind. The speaker might as well have been speaking Russian, Cloud couldn't understand.

"Wake on…"

The sound of another human voice was stimulating. Even if Cloud couldn't understand it, he wanted to. Gently he pushed his mind forward, he tried to put in the effort to move toward that voice, but he felt so tired, and his body didn't want to obey him. _'Move' _he commanded urgently. _'Please move…'_

Progress was slow, but it was working. Cloud managed to gain enough control over himself to move, if only an inch.

"That's it, come on….please wake up…"

The voice was comforting, full of warmth and life. It didn't have the same cold quality that Sephiroth's voice had, or the deadness of those that Cloud knew. This voice was new, and comforting. Cloud suddenly felt himself wanting, no, needing, to see the owner of such a voice.

He opened his eyes, and the darkness disappeared.

Standing above him was a boy in his middle teens, with long silver hair and bright, aqua eyes. The resemblance he bore to those who had just attacked Cloud was uncanny, but he seemed different…warmer. Even his skin seemed to have been kissed by the sun, it shone a healthy tan, a beautiful color that didn't belong on a city dweller.

"Who are you?" Cloud croaked, feeling ashamed at the way his voice cracked. He was suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit, and he flipped away from the boy to do so, feeling even more shame as his stomach emptied itself.

"You ok?!" the boy asked in alarm. Cloud wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and nodded slowly, unable to look the boy in the face.

"I….I think so." he replied.

"You don't look okay…you look like someone beat the shit out of you."

Cloud stared at the ground, as if the sidewalk below him might offer some reply. He didn't want to tell this stranger what had happened, why he was like this. He would not degrade himself further. "I'm fine." he growled.

"Can you walk?" the boy asked, completely ignoring Cloud's insistence that he was indeed ok. "Do you need some help?"

"I'm fine!" the blonde growled again. To prove his words, he tried to stand, only to find that his knees had turned to water. The silver-haired boy caught him as he fell back onto his ass.

"Here…" the boy said gently, soothingly. He picked up Cloud's arm and put it around his neck, making sure to hold onto the older man's body as he helped him stand. "We need to get you off the street…my apartment is near here. I'll take you there. Then we can get you cleaned up."

Feeling too ashamed and weak to argue, Cloud allowed himself to be half-carried to the boy's apartment, which, thankfully, was on the first floor. Once inside, Cloud collapsed on the couch and at once tried to get up again.

"Sit down." the silver haired boy sighed, pushing him back down onto the piece of furniture gently.

"But the blood-" he started to protest, but the boy stopped him.

"Don't worry about it, it's an old couch anyways. I was thinking about getting it reupholstered."

"Thank you." Cloud replied, meaning every word. He didn't think he could move an inch, let alone get off the couch again.

"No problem…" Reaching out a hand, the boy gently grabbed the bottom of Cloud's shirt and began to lift it up. When Cloud protested, he only glared at him. "I have to get this off you to see how bad you're hurt."

"You aren't touching me." the blonde growled, pushing the boy's hand off of his shirt. "Thank you for your help, but I don't need to be doctored."

"I need to get your wounds cleaned before they get infected." the boy responded smoothly, pushing Cloud's hand away. Ignoring the older man's protests, he lifted the shirt up and off.

The boy let out a long low whistle when he saw the extent of Cloud's injuries. His attackers had really done a number on him. Most of his upper body was covered in bruises and open cuts, some of which seemed to have been cut in with a knife.

"Damn."

"Don't look." Cloud pleaded, letting his eyes flutter closed to hold back the tears. "Please don't look."

"Who did this to you?" The boy reached out a hand, letting it ghost over some of the more minor wounds. Cloud shivered in response.

"Don't….don't touch me."

"Sorry…"

They stayed in silence for what seemed to Cloud like an eternity. Finally, after the boy had retrieved a first aid kit, Cloud managed the courage and self control to ask the boy a question.

"Who are you?"

"Mmmphu" the boy replied through a roll of gauze he was opening with his teeth. When Cloud gave him a confused look he took the gauze out of his mouth and replied. "Riku."

"Well Riku, you are extremely stupid." Cloud replied, letting his head fall back against the top of the couch as Riku started to dress his wounds.

"What makes you say that?" Riku asked. He pulled out a tube of ointment and gently began to rub it into Cloud's abused flesh. The older man grunted and clenched his teeth in response.

"Well, you pick up some guy off the street and bring him into your house. For all you know I am a serial killer and I'm about to slit your throat."

A laugh burst from behind Riku's lips, making the younger boy stop what he was doing for a moment. "You can't even stand up, I don't think you're much of a threat."

Cloud grunted and closed his eyes again. "Your funeral."

"So, I've told you my name, now I need yours." Pulling apart a large bandage, Riku began to patch it over one of the larger wounds, followed by a patch of gauze applied with tape.

"……..Cloud."

"Well Cloud. I think you better stay here for the night at least. You are probably going to be sore from whatever happened, and I'll need to change these bandages in the morning."

"Why are you so nice?" Cloud asked. He had never met anyone like Riku before. It was a bizarre change from normal, and Cloud was still debating with himself over whether he liked the difference or not. Most people would have left him to die on the sidewalk.

Riku shrugged in reply to his query. "I think anyone would do what I'm doing. I mean, you were in trouble, how could I just not help you?"

"A lot of people wouldn't" Cloud replied softly, watching as the silver haired boy continued to wrap up his wounds. Riku's hands were gentle, and once again, they were warm. It was something that Cloud found fascinating about the young boy, something he had never seen before. People in the city were always cold, always distant. It was how you stayed alive But here was Riku, a living breathing specimen of everything that Cloud had never seen. It felt good to be near him.

He nearly whimpered when Riku finished and took away his touch. With the warmth of the boy's hands gone, he felt sick again, he felt that thing in the pit of his stomach start gnawing again, he felt alone again.

"I can stay the night?" he asked hopefully, though he already knew the answer. Riku turned back to him and smiled, then nodded before going to go put the first aid kit away.

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Cloud stayed for over a month. Every time he'd try to get up and go, Riku would hold him back and ask him to stay one more night. Strangely enough, the older male never found this behavior disturbing or strange. In a way he was grateful for Riku allowing him to stay. It meant another night not feeling that hole in his stomach, and another day not spent on the streets. Riku was good company, and soon the two found themselves becoming fast friends.

"They're nearly gone." Riku stated one morning as Cloud walked past him into the living room.

"What?" the older man asked.

"The bruises, they're nearly gone."

Cloud looked down to see that his bruises and cuts were almost gone. In fact, they barely even showed up against Cloud's creamy light skin. The older man had taken to walking around the apartment without a shirt, and as a result, Riku was always noticing the condition of his wounds.

"Yeah." Cloud smiled, looking at his friend fondly. "You did a good job with them, thanks."

"You're welcome." Riku walked over and touched one of the bruises experimentally. Cloud couldn't even feel it. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Me too…"

"So….I'm guessing you'll be wanting to leave…"

"Trying to get rid of me?" Cloud joked, but when he noticed the hurt in Riku's eyes he stopped. "Is something wrong?"

"No…it's just that…you're the only person I know around here. Ever since I moved I've felt a little lonely, but with you here it almost felt, well, like home. But I know you have your own life to live, and I feel a little guilty keeping you here."

The forlorn look on Riku's face made something stir inside Cloud's stomach. It felt an awful lot like that hole he'd lived with all his life, only this time, it felt larger and hurt more.

"I'll stay if you want…" he started, but Riku held up a hand to cut him off.

"I…I wouldn't feel right asking you to stay here Cloud. I think it's time we went back to our old lives. I mean, we can't stay living together like this…"

"Why not?"

"Well, because…" Riku shook his head, looking back at Cloud with a look of utter hopelessness. "Because it's just not right. We live two different lives."

"That's bullshit. I wasn't living any kind of life before I met you." Cloud moved forward and laid a hand on Riku's shoulder, causing the younger boy to almost flinch. "You changed me, for the better."

"I'm gay!" Riku suddenly blurted out, glaring at Cloud. "There, ok? I'm gay, now go away."

"You think that changes anything? I couldn't care less if you liked to fuck goats. Why are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Because I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of getting attached."

Cloud blinked and stared at the young man before him. He couldn't call Riku a boy, not any more. Now that Cloud looked, he could see that Riku was a young man, a bright, beautiful young man.

"You're scared of getting attached to me?"

"Yes." Riku looked away and pushed Cloud's hand off of his shoulder dejectedly. "I promised myself I wouldn't get attached to anything anymore, that's why I moved to the city, why I left everything behind. It took me a while to realize it, but I started getting attached to you, and I'm scared of that."

"Why are you so afraid to get close to me? You sure the hell didn't seem that way when you helped me that night."

"That's because it was just one night, you were a stranger, just a guy I was helping. I…I never meant to care so much. I never meant to start to fall in love with you."

"You're in love with me?"

"Yes."

"Fine then." Cloud reached out and grabbed hold of Riku's arm, pulling the young man closer to him. Before Riku could protest, and before he could really think it through himself, he planted his lips firmly on Riku's.

Riku didn't respond at first, neither of them did. The air around them seemed to suddenly become thick, almost dangerous. Then, with jerky, uncertain movements, Riku pushed back against Cloud's lips, and allowed his arms to slowly wrap around his body.

The feeling that exploded in Cloud's gut completely eradicated the hole that had been eating away at him for years. The warmth in Riku that he had found so addictive when he first met the young man seemed to flow through their lips and into his body, warming his heart and melting the ice that had collected there over many years of isolation in the darkness.

Riku was the first to pull away, although reluctantly. He smiled up at Cloud before burying his head into his chest, letting the gentle up and down movement of his breathing calm down the rapid beat of his own heart.

"Are you sure?" he whispered lightly. Cloud responded by pulling him closer against his body.

"Would I still be here if I wasn't?"

"It just…"

"Seems strange? Tell me about it. But you know, you filled something up, something that has been killing me my entire life. If this isn't right, then what is?"

"Kiss me again, please? Just to make sure."

"Okay…"

Their lips met again, this time more sure, more comfortably. Cloud tipped his head to the side just a little and let his tongue brush against Riku's bottom lip. The younger man opened his mouth almost instantly, letting Cloud's tongue enter.

It was a sweet moment for both of them. Cloud found the taste of the silver-haired teen to be addicting, and nothing like what he had expected. He had never been so close to any person before this, had never allowed himself to get so close. But this closeness felt so right, so pure, that he found himself opening up to this young man who had pulled him in off the street, and showed him the only kindness he had ever known.

Time slowed down to a halt around them, letting the two newfound lovers have their moment of bliss. Cloud found his hands moving from their place on Riku's hips to his back as their tongues gently made love in their mouths. There was nothing reckless about their actions, nothing lust-filled or jerky, just slow, needy, tender, warmth.

They made love that night, in Riku's bedroom and away from prying eyes. Cloud had been hesitant about going so far with someone so much younger than him, but Riku had only pulled him closer and kissed him gently, muttering that he wanted it. Then Cloud had submitted, and pushed Riku back against the bed and removed his shirt. It was not wild and passionate, but slow and tender, like the kisses they had shared earlier, and each time Cloud's body and Riku's connected, he felt a little bit of his hard heart break down. He had found his bridge from the realm of the damned, unloved, lonely people, and it had lead right into Riku's heart.

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Damn you Cloud, why can't I be you? Well whatever, maybe one day I'll get out of Cloud's damned world and find a heart to rest in. I hope so, cuz I'm sick of living with that hole in my stomach. Anyways, hoped you liked.

Please R&R!


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